Friday, July 15, 2011

Eureka...err, sort of!

That's right party people, I think I *might* be making my way out of the funk.

I KNOW!

It's huge, right?

A few thoughts/self realizations as I drag myself out of the deep dark hole of funktitude,
one armful of dirt at a time.

*I am a control freak*
It's true. About everything. You can guarantee that when I'm in a mood, 99.9% of the time it's because something is out of my control, there's something not right and I can't fix it. It doesn't even have to be huge. It can be anything, though the huge things are much, much worse.

*Writing is my outlet*
No shock there, right? But here's the problem. When my well planned out world comes crashing down because I realize I can't control every aspect of it as described above, I turn to writing to express those emotions. But what happens when writers block strikes, I'm not inspired, and the words won't come?

I go deeper into the deep dark spiral of funk.

So is it really any surprise that the solution is just the reverse???

It shouldn't be, but it always is. Because I have to be patient.

*Patience is a virtue I rarely have*
I can be patient with others (to a certain extent), but when it comes to myself, I'm pretty ruthless, mostly because of the control issues. I should be able to fix it, to be happy, to pull myself out without anyone or anything else. But the reality is often I can't. Often I need friends with more patience than I have for myself.

So, after a few weeks of neediness and whininess and just plain out miserableness,
I've started to smile again. On a regular basis and everything.

And with the smiling, comes the writing.

And all those pesky things I couldn't control...the ones that were bothering me?

They're still there, only now I'm not so worried about them. I know things will work out, that it will all be okay. I don't believe much in coincidences, I happen to think everything in life happens for a reason, sometimes it just takes us longer to find them than others. But while I search for the answers and solutions, I think I'll go ahead and enjoy myself.

Isn't that what it's all about?
So what have I missed lately? Anything good?

7 comments:

  1. Yay! I love that coming out of it feeling. I always learn a lot about myself during those times and then I feel more excited and ready than ever.

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  2. Glad to hear things are better, Kristi. I know when I'm in mood, I'm the first one to realize it and do my best to leave people alone until I shake it loose.
    Have a great weekend...okay? ;)

    -Jimmy

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  3. It must be fun… or why do it. What have you missed? Not sure.

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  4. So glad you're feeling less..."funky". :-)

    I'm a control freak too--and a neat freak.

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  5. I'm in a funk too. Glad to see you're getting out of it. ;) Hang in there, it'll pass. It always does.

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  6. I have a case of the funks myself. Glad to see you're digging your way out of yours. I believe I am also, just at a very slow pace...

    Congrats on the smiles and everything that comes along with them :)

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  7. I'm glad you are making it out of your funk. I hate it when things happen outside of my control too; it makes me really frantic. But I'm working through it too!

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