That's right party people, I think I *might* be making my way out of the funk.
It's huge, right?
A few thoughts/self realizations as I drag myself out of the deep dark hole of funktitude,
one armful of dirt at a time.
*I am a control freak*
It's true. About everything. You can guarantee that when I'm in a mood, 99.9% of the time it's because something is out of my control, there's something not right and I can't fix it. It doesn't even have to be huge. It can be anything, though the huge things are much, much worse.
*Writing is my outlet*
No shock there, right? But here's the problem. When my well planned out world comes crashing down because I realize I can't control every aspect of it as described above, I turn to writing to express those emotions. But what happens when writers block strikes, I'm not inspired, and the words won't come?
I go deeper into the deep dark spiral of funk.
So is it really any surprise that the solution is just the reverse???
It shouldn't be, but it always is. Because I have to be patient.
*Patience is a virtue I rarely have*
I can be patient with others (to a certain extent), but when it comes to myself, I'm pretty ruthless, mostly because of the control issues. I should be able to fix it, to be happy, to pull myself out without anyone or anything else. But the reality is often I can't. Often I need friends with more patience than I have for myself.
So, after a few weeks of neediness and whininess and just plain out miserableness,
I've started to smile again. On a regular basis and everything.
And with the smiling, comes the writing.
And all those pesky things I couldn't control...the ones that were bothering me?
They're still there, only now I'm not so worried about them. I know things will work out, that it will all be okay. I don't believe much in coincidences, I happen to think everything in life happens for a reason, sometimes it just takes us longer to find them than others. But while I search for the answers and solutions, I think I'll go ahead and enjoy myself.
Isn't that what it's all about?
So what have I missed lately? Anything good?