Monday, December 7, 2009

Missing My Sister

Not to give everyone the wrong idea...she's still around...it's just that during the holidays I tend to miss that extra time with her that you tend to take for granted when growing up.  Now that we both work full time and lead busy lives it gets harder to harder to spend time together and very rare that it is just the two of us.

I think I've mentioned (briefly) that there was a period of time when she was sick and the fact that she would be around was scarily not a certainty.  We even received a family trip to Hawaii from our make-a-wish family to put things in perspective.  Not that I mean for this to be a gloomy post but actually the exact opposite.  To meet her now you would never know and that truly is a miracle.  She's actually in better physical shape than I am and you would never have a clue the struggles that happily now lie in our past. 

And so as I miss my sister and reflect on how very lucky I am that she's around and the special bond that the two of us have, no matter how far apart, I thought about dredging up another poem from that time.  (And we're only an hour and a half apart which I realize isn't so far but there are days it seems like an ocean).

"Momentum"

Wasting time
sitting around
waiting for a diagnosis to be found
feel so useless
nothing to be done
what happened to the days of carelessness and fun?

I can't stand the silence
can't stand the doubt
I don't wanna live
if this is what livin' is all about

Want to run
leave reality
go to a place that lacks fatality
people are healthy
pain long gone
what is it our world did so wrong?

I can't stand the heartache
can't stand to cry
I don't wanna' pout
just don't understand why

Gotta' be tough
pretend to be strong
so many people playing along
laughing faces
with smiling eyes
yet all along dying inside

I can't stand the pressure
can't stand to act
I don't wanna' give in
just don't know how to react

All for nothing
the battle won
a lessons been taught or merely begun
take it all in
feeling blessed
who would have thought we'd conquer this quest?

I can't stand the question
can't stand not knowing
I don't want to be here again
the only answer to keep going.  

Hope everyone has a great Monday! 

On an unrelated sidenote:  this horrible cold is still hanging around and I still can't breathe!  On the bright side, the pressure in my head is less and I may be able to think clearly today so hopefully this means I am on the mend!!!

Kristi

10 comments:

  1. It is encouraging to hear how close you are to your sister. I grew up with two brothers and no sisters. I have three daughters and one of my strong hopes is that they will grow up and remain close like they are now.

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  2. Thanks Moonaroo (if I haven't already mentioned it - I love your screen name and your blog!!!)

    I'm the exact opposite - I grew up with two sisters (one much younger than myself - 14 years!) and it's always been women in my family! Was so excited to have a little boy and now I'm finally beginning to learn just how different men and women really are from the very beginning! He wears me out...although obviously I love him to pieces. He's a precious little dare devil!

    I'm really hoping for a girl next...something special about that mother/daughter bond as well!

    And there's nothing in the world like sisters so I'm positive your little girls will grow up loving each other even more as the years go by!!! But don't be suprised if the teenage years are touch and go...my dear sister I wrote about and I had a few rough spots in there! LOL!

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  4. I miss my sister too. Sometimes. Usually after talking to her I'm like, "phew. I'm sure glad I don't have to live with that 'bottle of sunshine' anymore." LOL. Still love her though! : )

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  5. You are cracking me up Kimberly! I find it very hard to believe your sister isn't as bubbly and fun as you seem to be - must be polar opposites!

    Although now that you mention it, mine used to kick me in the knees with skates *for fun* and remove the doorknobs from my room so she could break in and steal the phone. Admittedly I was older and completely hogging the phone but still SO GLAD those days are over! Much better when you don't tend to live in the same house! LOL!

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  6. We are COMPLETE OPPOSITES. In just about every way imaginable. I'm the older sister, too.

    My sister used to spy on me with binoculars, steal my shoes and clothes (and swear she didn't and that she didn't know how they got into her room stuffed into her drawers), and she even once threw a 20 lb bag of dog food at my friend. How she managed to do that...not sure. It was the meanness, I guess.

    She's still kind of mean, but not to me. Just her BF. LOL. Poor him. : )

    I'm with you on the missing the days, but being glad they're over. : )

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  7. My sister's in Seattle and I'm in Montana. I often miss her, so I hear ya. Luckily for me, she's coming for a week during Christmas, so I don't have to miss her as much this year! ;)

    Great blog!

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  8. Thanks Shannon! I feel spoiled with my sister only being an hour or so away but you know how life gets in the way! Enjoy your visit with her this Christmas...I love the holidays for that very reason...it's all about family!

    And Kimberly - your sister's antics sound like awesome inspiration for some writing - talk about a good character!!

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  9. Oh yeah, I know. I'm already on it! LOL.

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  10. LOL!! I love it! You did hit me in the head with your lunchbox and claim it was a bug, we all have our "special moments" ;)

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